“Unlocking the secrets to genuine happiness, where true fulfillment lies beyond the fleeting allure of success and material possessions.”

I woke up one day, at the age of 45, and had an epiphany about my theory of happiness. For as long as I could remember, I believed that if I worked hard and achieved great success, people would shower me with recognition and validation, and I would finally find happiness. This belief had its roots in my school days, where good grades earned me smiles from teachers and hugs from my parents . It continued into my professional life, where every accomplishment was met with praise, promotions, and even celebratory cakes. But as I reflected on my journey, I realized that this pursuit of external validation had left me feeling empty and unfulfilled.

I started retrospecting What I discovered challenged everything I thought I knew. Happiness, I learned, has nothing to do with success, achievements, or the material possessions we accumulate. We all know individuals who seemingly have everything but are miserable, while others with very little radiate joy and contentment. Psychologists have coined the term “hedonic adaptation” to describe this phenomenon, where happiness becomes a manufactured product that relies on external factors. The real key lies in our ability to control our thoughts and find happiness within ourselves.

One of the most painful lessons I learned was that the more we focus on ourselves, the unhappier we become. True happiness lies in losing ourselves, in forgetting our own worries and self-centeredness. When we shift our focus outward, towards others and their needs, we experience a deeper sense of fulfillment and contentment. It is in forgetting ourselves that we find true happiness.

Other lesson that resonated deeply with me is acceptance. I had a poignant moment of realization when I heard the words of Irrfan Khan, the late actor, who faced his own mortality with grace. Despite knowing he had only two months to live, he smiled and said, “Well, I have hope in life, but life has no obligation to give us what we expect.” These words struck a chord within me. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, and finding happiness is not about chasing unrealistic expectations. It is about accepting and appreciating what we have in the present moment. In other words , “Happiness comes from liking what we have rather than having what we like.” This was a difficult concept for me to grasp, as I used to yearn for a big post, the CEO position of a big company, comparing myself to leaders like Satya Nadella of Microsoft. But I realized that life has its own plans for me, and I am grateful for the unique journey I have taken.

In the final piece of the happiness puzzle, we find that relationships hold the key. Loneliness is the biggest driver of unhappiness, and the more we connect with each other, the happier we become. Building and nurturing meaningful relationships with friends, family, and loved ones is essential for our well-being. It is through these connections that we find love, support, and a sense of belonging that uplifts our spirits and enriches our lives.

In conclusion, true happiness cannot be found in the pursuit of external validation or material possessions. It lies within ourselves, in our ability to shift our focus from self-centeredness to selflessness, and in accepting and appreciating what we have in the present moment. Additionally, building and nurturing meaningful relationships is vital for our overall happiness and well-being. It’s better embrace these lessons and embark on a journey towards lasting happiness that goes beyond the illusion of success and achievements.

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